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what I have to say

by Faith Zapata

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1.
interstate 05:25
[Verse 1] I saw the end from the beginning I held you closer than I should Could always tell the clock was ticking And you’re saying things I knew you would [Pre-Chorus] “Sticks and stones” was just something they made up To make them feel better about what people say ‘Cause you could break my bones, and I’d just get sewn up But if you said you never loved me, I don’t think I’d be okay [Chorus] Sometimes I wonder how I’ll go Get old, forget everybody’s names Crash my car on the interstate I don’t think that I would like to know But I’ve got a real good feeling You’re gonna be the thing that kills me [Verse 2] The lines are blurred, so are the signs I can’t make out what they’re meant to say And if I could I would give up all of my time If it meant a moment longer you would stay [Pre-Chorus] Wash up on the shore, are you getting bored? I’m sorry if I’ve used up all of the tricks that I know I’ve been hurt before, and I’m not so sure If you want anything from me I don’t know what else to say [Chorus] Sometimes I wonder how I’ll go Get old, forget everybody’s names Crash my car on the interstate I don’t think that I would like to know But I’ve got a real good feeling You’re gonna be the thing that kills me [Bridge] On the shore Are you getting bored I’ve been hurt before And I’m not so sure We’ll call it an either/or We’re not keeping score Signs that I’ve ignored Well, I can’t see them anymore I’m sleeping in Dream of you and then Slowly losing my mind again We’re walking on a line On even thinner ice We test the limits every time And we both know it’s the perfect crime And you’re my right hand man I let you make the plans I won’t ask again No, I won’t ask again [Chorus] Sometimes I wonder how I’ll go Get old, forget everybody’s names Crash my car on the interstate I don’t think that I would like to know But I’ve got a real good feeling You’re gonna be the thing that kills me [Outro]
2.
[Verse 1] This car has never moved slower I saw right through the water I am my mother’s daughter, this I know I’m more than what you made me This hurt will be temporary It’s just all of my love with nowhere to go [Chorus] And all of my grieving Is all of my love looking for a home And you took me in Just for a moment, then you let me go For what it’s worth, I think you were worth it all [Verse 2] I know I will feel better My heart will change with the weather But I’m not a go-getter, we all know I’m in fetal position, clutching my knees I’m staring so hard up at the ceiling I might go blind [Chorus] All all my believing Drives me down a road that never meets an end And now I am bleeding I don’t think I can wear this dress anymore For what it’s worth, I think you were worth it all [Bridge] I’ll give you what you need And if that’s time away from me I’ll let you have it I’ll let you have it I’ll give you what you want And if it means that you’ll be gone I’ll let you have it I’ll let you have it [Outro] And I’ll be sad, but You can have anything you want
3.
[Verse 1] If I hadn’t blown a fuse And if your team didn’t lose If I could only pick and choose Which battles I could do If I’d never fought with you Would you still think how you do I’ve never felt something more true Than wishing I could follow through [Chorus] Because I miss you a lot more than I am mad I spend my time drawing lines down in the sand Said you loved me before we even began But now I think I do Way more than I can [Verse 3] If I hadn’t made a fuss Would there be anything to discuss Sick feeling in my gut Hits me like a truck Could we have gone about it different Or either way, would it have happened If you want, call me old-fashioned Just something about being romantic [Chorus] Because I miss you a lot more than I am mad I spend my time drawing lines down in the sand Said you loved me before we even began But now I think I do Way more than I can
4.
eyesight 03:26
[Verse 1] Nowhere to hide in plain sight No plane flights One big fight No goodnight don’t mean goodbye Trailing behind out of spite Try to ignite maybe some kind Of anger in me tonight [Chorus] I just can’t hate you, it’s too late You’re everywhere And I won’t be the one who makes you Feel like a man Only you can [Verse 2] I can’t define the fine line Where you and I had our names signed Perfect eyesight won’t save you tonight Calls are declined and I’ll cry For the ninth time ‘til the sunrise Sharpen your knife, make sure your aim’s right [Chorus] I won’t escape you, I’m too late You’re everywhere And I can’t make you want me again Love me again [Bridge] For the first time, I needed something more than I needed to breathe For the first time, I fell in love with a boy who actually saw me He broke down my walls, he changed the game I let down my guard, now nothing’s the same It won’t be the same [Outro] Nowhere to hide in plain sight No plane flights One big fight No goodnight don’t mean goodbye
5.
[Verse 1] You should know by now It’s hard for me to ignore you It’s hard to believe, but I’ve tried to You should know by now I wouldn’t just hear that, and pretend I didn’t You couldn’t just say that, but of course you did and [Chorus] Here is my reply I also wish there was a way A way to relight the fire Or a better time for us to try [Verse 2] You should know by now You’re my best friend and I wouldn’t change it Not the time, not the place, I won’t blame it You should know by now I wouldn’t just hear that, and let myself go About my day, without putting on a show [Chorus] So here’s what I have to say ‘Cause there’s always something, isn’t there Won’t run out, can’t keep ‘em away And you’re wrong about me being okay [Bridge] If you wonder if you’re on my mind The short answer’s you're there all the time Taking up space that should be mine But I’m not complaining, waiting for a sign That you should leave, but currently I’m not getting anything that’s telling me That I can’t mourn you [Verse 3] You should know by now That I love you in more ways than one And you’re one stubborn son of a gun ‘Cause you’re still here, after it’s all said and done But I’m glad you’re around I’m glad you’re here now [Outro] I’m glad you’re here now Hmm
6.
love me more 06:02
[Verse 1] I’ve never felt so numb I’ve never felt so much You are everything to me I fine pieces of you in everything Tried to be nonchalant Tried different personalities on None of them fit right if they’re not with you And you know if I could, I would give you the moon [Chorus] If it meant that you’d love me again Or at least a bit more than you did If it meant that you’d try a lot harder this time around If it meant that you’d prove it to me All the love that went left unseen If it meant that tomorrow, I’d find you there at my door If it meant that one day, you’d wake up and you’d love me more [Verse 2] Had to put all your pictures away And the letters, the gifts, and guitar picks All locked up somewhere safe I’ll refrain from saying your name And listening to our favorite song You know the one where you found the mistake [Chorus] And I don’t know if I ever can Listen to that song ever again Or any of the ones that we loved, because I just can’t Seem to get myself off of the floor And I shouldn’t even feel the need to keep score But it’s like you just let happen, let me break like before I just wish that I didn’t have to ask you to love me more [Bridge] I’ve been broken before, but never like this You didn’t do anything, but that’s just the problem, isn’t it Thinking and wondering if I should’ve done something different But as tragic as everything ended, I don’t wanna change it ‘Cause baby, this mess is ours and we both made it [Chorus] And even though you can’t give me the sun I think I’ll always wish that you were the one ‘Cause I know you, and you never lied, not even once When you’d tell me that you loved me so I still believe you, deep down in my soul But the world keeps on moving, it’s something that we can’t control But I know there’s a world somewhere out there where you love me more

about

“what I have to say” is a collection of six songs that take you through my narrative of the sadder, more difficult parts of the past two years of my life.

credits

released October 18, 2023

Written and recorded live in one take by Faith Zapata
Mixed and mastered by Kevin Hackett
Cover art and visuals by Faith Zapata

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Faith Zapata San Francisco, California

Faith Zapata is an indie singer-songwriter and musician from the Bay Area, CA.

IG: @faithzap
TikTok: @faithcore

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